Love thy neighbor as THYSELF above all

The Torah states "love thy neighbor as thyself" (Leviticus 19:18). This precept is impossible to fulfill if one condition is not met first. One must love oneself first. I knew a man years ago that was in an abusive relationship, being emotionally dependent of his spouse. He had sacrificed his career in order to satisfy the tyrannical needs of his wife. In order to grant her "emotional stability," he was forced to abandon his friendships and desire of being a comedian. He had a knack for entertaining people and received much enjoyment from it. It was his greatest joy in life. During their honeymoon, one of his mentors called his phone. His wife answered the call and upon hearing a female voice she asked, "who is this?" The mentor was aghast upon hearing that her mentee had married without her knowledge. This conversation created strife in the marriage. After months of instabilities in the marriage, the comedian eventually abandoned his career and studies in order to make ends meet financially and to prevent more strife. Unfortunately, he was not happy in that marriage because he could not be himself. He was the slave of his wife. How could he love his wife if he had abandoned himself? After many years of hard work and changing jobs, he decided to not only pursue his passion, but also his studies. When he presented his masterplan to his lovely wife, she chided him saying, "if you do that, I will not support you." Although saddened by her response, he continued to pursue his dreams. "Love thy neighbor as thyself" requires that one love oneself first. How is that possible? Discover yourself first. What are the things that make you happy and produce the most joy in your life? Pursue them and never let go of them for anything nor anyone, not even a spouse. Love yourself. Then love humanity.