FEAR OF LOSS

I am sure that you have heard the phrase "fear of loss." This is a psychological condition that is taken advantage of by business persons, politicians, parents, friends, and even lovers. The "fear of loss" is a state in which a person is afraid to let go of someone, lose an opportunity, or of creating strife in a relationship. This fear hides itself behind the appearance of strength, control, and power. One goes to the market and sees an item on sale for 70% off, but only for that day. The emotions begin to move and the hormones go wild out of control. One wonders if the investment is worthwhile, at the expense of losing the opportunity of the discount. At that moment, the fear of loss becomes the psychological tool to control and sway your emotions, above the rational faculties. 

In another scenario, politicians create national fear through the media coverage of "acts of terror." This sense of fear produces instability in the people, such that politicians can portray the solution of providing control and tranquility. Yet, in a romantic relationship, one of the partners involved wants to back out of the relationship. The emotionally dependent partner begins to panic due to the fear of losing the other. At this point, the "subdominant" partner is emotionally and psychologically under control of the "dominant." The "subdominant" parter does all things, even suffers in silence (masochism) in order to hold on to the other. 

This is the dynamic of a toxic relationship. Literally, toxic! The type that raises the acidity level in the stomach, causes diarrhea, and produces panic and a change in the heart rate. This person is a slave to the other and even willing to suffer humiliation, subordination, and many forms of abuse, lest the relationship ends. This is the the power of "fear of loss." The way to get over it is through education and discipline. One must learn to see all perspectives and angles of the situation that evoke the psychological thrill. Then one must go to the other extreme, i.e. letting go. Albeit painful at first, one realizes that the "terror" is over and is only illusory. Hence, comes the peace of mind and control of one's emotions.